I cannot stress how important it is to be intersectional about your feminism. listen to black women, listen to trans women, listen to disabled women, and please acknowledge the fact that there are different types of women who go through different types of struggles than you
Uh if your feminism includes transwomen it’s not feminism. It’s men’s rights activism.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
Reblogging for the very high percentage of people here who haven’t received adequate sex education. No shame–this included me until a few years ago, I’ve participated many times myself, and I’m a nurse.
Choking is always edgeplay (i.e very risky). There is no safe way to choke someone. Even light pressure is not safe.
There is a nerve in the neck whose function is to lower heart rate. If you accidentally stimulate this nerve, it’s possible to lower the heart rate to zero very quickly. This can result in sudden cardiac death in seconds. Sometimes symptoms can be minimal and they unfortunately also mimic the symptoms of low oxygenation, which are the sensations you’re trying to provoke.
Also, if your partner has cholesterol buildup in the major artery leading to the brain–which there is no way to know except an angiogram–small chunks of cholesterol can break off, travel to the brain, and result in stroke. This too can initially cause minor symptoms the partner may not notice until it’s too late to reverse the process.
Breathplay is no kidding my very favorite kink in the world, and I hated giving it up, but please think very, very seriously. This is a Risk Aware Consensual Kink activity, not a safe, sane, consensual one.
Having your partner wrap their hands around your throat (strangulation) is both imminently dangerous, potentially dangerous for days afterward, and unless it’s something you’ve specifically asked them to do to you, can be a huge warning sign that you should be worried about their willingness to use violence against you.
A lot of people think the big issue is that strangulation compresses the trachea and hinders breathing. That’s a thing, but what’s even more dangerous is the compression of the blood vessels in your neck, which can directly cut off blood flow to your brain.
Even after the strangulation is over, there are potential lasting effects—brain damage, memory loss, and confusion, which often make strangulation victims very poor reporters of their own level of injury, which means that if, say, police show up following a fight, the victim might honestly say that they don’t think they were hurt very much and they feel fine.
About half the time they will have very small visible symptoms, like bruises on their neck, a raspiness to their voice, very small red specks on the skin of their neck or face, or burst vessels in their eyes. Half the time they won’t.
Which is not always a great way to tell which of them, in the days afterwards, will have a blood clot travel into their brain and cause a stroke, or will experience seizures and memory issues over the next several months or years. Those things might not be spotted without specialized medical attention and tests. If you’ve ever been strangled, tell a doctor; it may still be putting you at medical risk.
And aside from the medical risks, there are indicators that someone who has survived being strangled by an intimate partner is at a much higher risk of being a homicide victim. That basically, the willingness to strangle as an act of aggression can signal that they are more willing and able to actually kill you.
Yep. Strangulation is the #1 lethality indicator in an abusive relationship. People who report being strangled by their partners are 11X more likely to murdered than people who do not. That’s because once an abusive person feels comfortable doing this behavior, they’ll keep doing it but the damage is cumulative. The risk is not stable. The risk gets higher every time.
People often think that they must be strangled to unconsciousness for it to be dangerous, but any amount of grabbing or pressure applied to the neck or throat carries these vascular and neurological risks. That’s why I want to highlight the language @star-anise is using again: It’s any amount of having someone wrap their hands around your throat that carries these risks. It’s any amount of pressure applied to the throat or neck with any object.
So back to a kink context: Being fully Risk Aware about breathplay means understanding that not only are there short and long term risks, but also that the risk carries over and builds up each time you do it.
Why is all the fun stuff dangerous ?
Because when your brain thinks you’re in real true serious danger, it pumps out all kinds of cool brain chemicals, like adrenaline and endorphins. Adrenaline is thrilling and exciting, and endorphins are your body’s homebrew version of opioids that produce euphoria and distance from pain. To many people (me included), they feel fucking amazing.
Uuuunfortunately, getting your brain to turn those taps on involves making it think you’re in real true serious danger. And one of the simplest ways to achieve that is to put yourself in real true serious danger. Which has the downside of being, well… dangerous.
Omg, a QaF fan??? In my DMs??? It’s more likely than you think. Ok I have many a thought and I’m going to work backwards. It might be controversial b/c I think it happened early on in season 1 because…
By 1x10 Brian is so whipped he drives all night to New York to find Justin and even though he is beyond pissed the second Justin gives him puppy dog eyes Brian is falling over himself to get inside him.
Look at Justin’s smug little face! He knows that he has Brian wrapped around his little finger. He starts stripping and Brian doesn’t do anything but Justin is so confident he teases him and asks if he needs help taking his clothes off. Justin is the king.
Before that in 1x08 after Craig beats Brian up outside of Babylon and gives Justin the ultimatum to go home now or never again; Brian storms off yelling an emphatic “fuck!” He thought Justin would go home and in that moment he was mourning the relationship. I think Brian was already in love. It hurt him to see Justin being asked to choose between his family and Brian but really between his true self and being accepted by his family. Brian knows this pain and it’s why he had not yet come out by this point in the show and it tears him up to see Justin go through that.
Two episodes before, 1x06, we see Brian looking at Justin’s drawing while someone under the covers is giving him head. This scene is the first time we see Brian have sex with someone else while actively imagining they are Justin instead. Also he goes to the art show at the center in this ep and he would not have done that just for Lindsay. He is there for Justin and he is sooo in love.
In 1x05 Brian kicks a trick out because the guy was rude to Justin. At this point Justin is already much more meaningful to him than a one night stand. After this Brian tells Justin not to rely on anyone else and the only person you can trust is yourself. I think this scene is so telling because ostensibly Brian is talking to Justin but really he is desperately trying to remind himself of this belief. He is already in love but he is also afraid of what that means.
I think Brian fell in love as early as 1x03 when Justin had the gall to steal two tricks from him. It was a like-recognizes-like moment. Brian for the very first time respected Justin and saw him as more than just some kid. In a scene at Woody’s in this ep Brian defends Justin to Michael and says “Leave him alone…he’s actually kind of sweet.” Justin’s move at the end of the ep was far from sweet and it not only turned Brian on, it had him head over heels. The way he smiles while kissing him on the dancefloor that night and holds him up in his arms like a trophy. I’m certain Brian took him home and couldn’t keep his hands off him the rest of the night.
For the rest of the season we see the tension between Brian’s love for Justin and Brian’s love for his lifestyle. Falling in love with someone is entirely discordant with Brian’s idea of himself and as we know he feels he can’t be trusted to love someone and have them love him in turn. He is terrified of that vulnerability and he doesn’t want to be hurt especially by someone he has allowed to get this close to him.
This follows them until season 5 when Brian finally allows himself to tell Justin that he loves him. He says it’s because of the bomb, but Brian already had to consider losing Justin once before, and instead of telling Justin that he loved him after the bashing he instead pretends that he didn’t even show up to the hospital despite visiting him every day and watching him sleep. Brian loved Justin from the beginning but he had so much work to do healing from his childhood and the walls he built up before he could even consider letting himself be vulnerable enough to admit it to Justin.
Finally, I just want to say that Justin is god’s strongest soldier. Was he perfect? No. Did he leave Brian and misunderstand him a few times? Yes. But jesus Brian did not make it easy on him. It takes a lot to love someone unconditionally even when they refuse to tell you what you both know is true.
Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)
Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*
wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty
inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture
merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?
It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.
Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that
Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK
OH MY GOD
So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.
25+ years old, Czech republic.
